I decided this morning to start blogging again. I say this even though I never made a formal decision to stop. I just have had trouble writing about my life when the major events are emotional. After all, when I started this blog it was to give friends and family a firsthand glimpse into a foreign world that I was in the process of discovering. I wanted to stray away from the 'inflated sense of self importance' that I thought endemic to the blogging world. However, now that I live in Santa Barbara again, many of the sights are familiar and the quotidian experiences unremarkable. Even though I have yet to find a solution, I realized that I miss this, I don't know what to call, communication.
These last few months have been unforgiving. My time at Cornell was the roughest period of my life but at least I was busy. Now I am lucky if I have commitments every other day. There is only so much job hunting I can do.
"I am taking time to strengthen my relationships and re-evaluate career plans." This is what I am telling people. It is mostly true but doesn't include the fact that I am reeling from a shattered self-confidence. "I have a B.S. in Engineering Physics, just got back from a very successful year at Cornell University, and would like to be considered for the administrative assistant position within your company." I hate this.
Oh John...this sounds so familiar. And I'm sorry that you're in the midst of this struggle, but take solace in the fact that most of us have been there (and will probably be there again...). But chin up, friend - something amazing will come along. I know it, because you're amazing!
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