Let us go then you and I

It is wrong to title this post with a Elliot quote and then go about the actual writing Kerouac-style but that is just what I am going to do. These last few weeks have been hard. I found out I had been waitlisted at the University of California in San Diego and denied from the University of California in Los Angeles. No matter the cause, there is a definite hit, a smashing, a pummeling of the ego involved in news of this sort. That is being dramatic but its true. I only share it because I have restricted the readership of this journal to friends and family, people who would find this out eventually. I have been reeling from this defeat and in general, spewing imprecations and stewing in the new questions, Why and what Now. Now holds new possibilities, which is nice, as in, Now that is a nice thing. Why was a bit more troublesome, pernicious and meddlesome. Why prompted me to ask it to the Universities. Los Angeles was very kind in its reply. The reason for the denial decision on your application is inadequate preparation for the major.  Though you have a competitive GPA, you have a BS in Engineering Physics and M.A. in Architecture and you are required to complete the following remedial courses prior to starting the program CEE 108,130,135A,135B, 141 or 142. San Diego was the same but slightly better. Your application is excellent the only portion that is of concern is your degrees not being in civil engineering. I will bring your file up to the committee again. Which is great, I have two open paths. Only. Only I am feeling kind of foolish to think that I could have applied with such gargantuan gaps in my preparation. Only I am feeling very foolish for troubling these Universities when I really only want another. No, I still have not heard from Irvine and no, it is not unreasonable to think that it will be a No. But I can see it is wrong to think that No can't become something else. In the very least it can become an incorrect utilization of proper nouns and poor appropriation of beatnik writing.