Caffeinated

"Oh, Black River
Gonna take my cares a way
Whoa, Black River
Gonna take my cares a way..."


Today is a day for posts! Dang.

Tuesday and Thursday I have a four and a half hour break in between classes. I do have homework to be doing (lots of it) but can't seem to stop my mind from running away on me so I came out to Libe Slope for some air. The day bright and I can see for miles to the South, West, and North. The air is cool but the sun is hot and the view, is stunning.

A grasshopper just landed at my feet. He looks to be certainly enjoying himself.

My struggle at the moment has to do with the apparent subjectivity of my studies. I could not place a finger on it before now but transitioning from the more lucid, defined studies of physics and math to the "high arts" is taking a real toll on me. There are no clear answers, no rights, no wrongs. I am afraid to ask how grades are going to work.

Yesterday Jim addressed this in studio. He shared an anecdote from his time teaching at the GSD (Harvard's Graduate School of Design) about a girl who came into a the master's program from pre-medical studies as an undergrad. While she was finishing up her thesis she came to Jim, expressed regret, and said that when she finished, she was going to resume her studies to become a physician, the subjectivity being too much for her analytical mind.

Today I realized that I am suffering from a similar affliction.

Structures class this morning was in that way, a relief. However, afterward in the studio I overheard some students extolling the virtues of architecture and it was depressing. It seems like everyone is talking but no one is saying anything.

Perhaps I should just engage in the dribble. I always used to criticize this guy on my high school volleyball team for aiming to crush the ball every time. It would not have been so bad if he did not end up crushing it into the net at nearly every attempt. However, by our Junior year he was really able to hit. Meanwhile my timing was still off and I swung like a fifth-grader...

~

I have finished my coffee and am once again, more optimistic. This is a dream of mine and I have come to this field for a reason. I think I will stay true to my origins (at the moment, by taking off my shirt) and stay out here a bit longer.